Uncertainty Is Okay
The Lily Pond at the Abbey of Gethsemani, Oil Pastel on Mat Board, by Susan E. Brooks
A while back my husband and I visited the Abbey of Gethsemani where Thomas Merton resided as a writer and a Trappist monk. The nature trails at the Abbey offered a quiet place to walk and reflect. We need to quiet our minds sometimes and accept the fact that we cannot dwell in constant certainty.
I had to stop for a few minutes this morning to calm my nerves and connect with God. Anxiety dogged my heels because an angry, self-proclaimed atheist wanted to argue with me online. He is certainly entitled to his opinions, and I welcomed him into the discussion, but he insisted his thoughts are more than “opinion.” He was so sure of himself. He would not stop arguing no matter what I said, so I finally had to stop engaging with his comments. The discussion was no longer safe, and no one else dared to get involved.
Sadly, I’ve seen Christians who are the same way, and maybe I have been just as annoying myself at times. The older I get, the less certain I am of anything. I try to offer grace to those who disagree with me, but some people only want to argue and prove they are right. The “I must win the argument” approach hardly ever works. It’s not my job to argue anyone into the kingdom of God. The Holy Spirit is the One who changes hearts and minds.
I love this quote from Thomas Merton:
“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
As we try to “speak the truth in love,” let’s make sure we don’t forget the “love” part, as I am tempted to do. And remember, uncertainty is okay. God will be with us even in uncertainty.
